10 Things For Military Spouses to Always Remember

My time being associated with the military has taught me a lot. I've seen all sorts of military wives and experienced all sorts of things. Throughout this I've learned some very important things. So I've decided to share them with you. These are things that I feel are very important for any military spouse to remember.

1.) You're more than just a milso. 
It's ok to identify as more than just a military spouse or so-and-so's wife. You have your own identity.  You need your own interests that will keep you busy during those long field trainings and deployments. Don't solely think of yourself as a milso. You'll lose who you are in the process.

2.) You're NEVER alone.
Sometimes it may feel as though you are, but you're not alone. There is always someone who's going through something similar to what you are, you just have to find them. There are facebook pages and your FRG, that are always giving support. I know my followers on my Tumblr are always willing to listen and help.

3.) There are so many resources within your reach. Use them.
There are so many scholarships and grants available for the spouses of servicemen and women, you have access to help finding a job, and so so much more.

4.) Hurry Up and Wait. The motto of the miltary.
The military is known for never doing anything on time, and always changing plans. Just be patient. There's nothing you can do about it.

5.) Be Flexible 
Things are constantly changing in the military. You may be forced to pack up and move on a whim, your spouse may work late, and new training schedules may pop up unannounced. You've just got to learn to be flexible and deal with it.

6.) DEPLOYMENTS END! They may not seem like it, but they do.

7.) Friends and family may not understand what you're going through, but that's ok. 
This can be hard, especially on those who are new to the military lifestyle. You may get told "well you signed up for it". I know I have been multiple times. These comments usually aren't meant to be hurtful.

8.) Embrace every duty station. 
Although your duty station may be less than pleasurable, make the best of it. You may never get the opportunity to visit again. Try local restaurants and visit local museums, hiking trails, etc.

9.) This too shall pass. 
When you hit that bump in the road that you don't think you'll overcome, like in the middle of a deployment, just remember it'll end. Eventually.

10.) A general POA won't cover everything. 
There are tons of different power of attorneys out there. Ones for your cars, banks, and housing. Be sure you have the correct ones. It's better to be over prepared, than under prepared.

6 Things Never to Talk About On Military Spouse Pages

Social Media is a big part of today's world. This allows there to be many different "support" groups for military spouses. These groups allow wives in the same area, or sometimes far apart, get to know those that are facing similar issues and understand the difficulty the military can bring within a family. While these groups can be quite helpful, they can also be drama filled. So I've learned what topics you probably shouldn't discuss in these forums.

Pay Day

Don't ask what day your spouses paycheck will come through, even if there is a holiday. Most often this is seen as a "dependa" thing to do, why else would you be asking? Those reading your question and responding rudely don't care that you have bills that are due or that you need to go to the grocery store to feed your family. You know all the things that a responsible spouse would do?

Rank

I agree with this one. No one cares what the rank of your spouse is, so what's the point in bringing it up?

Admit that you're human and make mistakes.

The way people act in these groups, you will be thrown under the bus and told you're a terrible wife and mother. After all, we're never meant to make mistakes, right?

Your Opinion

Never state your opinion in these groups, regardless of the topic. There will always be someone who disagrees with you, and will try to start all kinds of drama.

Marital Issues

Be sure never to say that you are having issues with your marriage. You're with a military man and he's "protecting your country. Why can't you be happy with him?" Or perhaps "you'll cause problems that he can take on the front line."

Anything Name Brand

It doesn't matter if it's name brand shoes or a purse, never talk about it. You'll be accused of being a "dependa" despite the fact you saved up all year to buy it.

25 Things Military Spouses Learn While Their Significant Other is Deployed

Every military spouse who has experienced deployment has learned a vast number of things. Here are what some spouses say were the biggest things they learned.

1. "I learned how to be patient. Obviously with deployment you have to wait for your husband to come home."
2. "While my husband was deployed, I learned not to take the little things for granted, like a five minute phone call. You never know when you'll be able to talk again."
3. "I learned that things that may seem minor while they're home, become big things during deployment. I can't remember how many times I got a short email or Facebook message that simply said I'm ok. I love you."
4. "You never realize how strong you are until you have no choice but to be."
5. "You learn that it's okay to cry. It doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're human."
6. "Murphy's Law will definitely take effect. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. But it's ok. You'll make it through it."
7. "I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be."
8. "I found my independent side that I forgot I had." 
9. "I found that to keep myself sane, I have to rely on God. He will bring you through it." 
10. "How to not only do the jobs a mother would do, but also the jobs a daddy would. I learned how to do yard work and do car repairs." 
11. "That the distance and stress of deployment can make or break you. You have to allow it to strengthen your relationship. Focus on the good, not the bad. Remember, they miss you as much as you miss them."
12. "I learned that in order for me to make it through the deployment, I needed to have a close knit group of friends and family. They helped me through so much."
13.  "The time may seem to be going by slowly, but before you know it you'll look back and think Man, it's been that long already?"
14. "I learned how much my family relies on my husband to do things. I've realized how blessed I am to have him in my life. I've learned how to appreciate the little things he does for us."
15. " I learned to be patient. Not only with waiting for my husband to come back, but with my friends and family. They try to understand, but they don't because they've never been through it." 
16. "The second he leaves, all hell breaks loose. But that's ok. I know I can handle it."
17. "It's ok to cry! It doesn't mean you're not strong. It means you care." 
18. "I've learned to draw near to God and focus on my relationship with Him. He will help you through it." 
19. "Take advantage of the time apart. Go back to school, start a new work out, run a marathon. Just set goals for yourself. It'll help the time pass more quickly."
20. "Homecoming is the most amazing day you'll ever experience."
21. "The first time I saw him after deployment, all the problems I had experienced went away."
22. "The day I saw his formation walk out onto the field after 10 months apart, I realized how lucky I am to have such an amazing man."
23. "The first kiss is the greatest feeling in the world."
24. "The hours leading up to homecoming are the most anxiety filled I experienced. But I couldn't have been happier."
25. "The first kiss and hug after 9 months apart made all the distance and lonely nights worth it. He was finally home to me."

What are some things you learned while your loved one was deployed?

Deployment Bucket List

While our spouses are deployed, we always want to make the time apart pass as quickly as possible.  I've learned that if you have a list of things to do, in mind, it'll help make the months pass more quickly. So here's a list of things that you can add to your deployment bucket list. 

1.) Take a road trip. 

Take a trip with some friends or family, not only will it keep you busy and keep your mind off the deployment, it'll be fun! 

2.) Train for a 5k, 10k, half or full marathon. 

This will give you a goal to work towards while your spouse is deployed. It'll be sure to keep you busy and you'll also get in shape! Imagine how accomplished you'll feel after you complete the run!

3.) Start a large craft project.

Is there a project that you've been wanting to do but just haven't gotten around to it? Well your spouse is deployed, so why not do it now? It'll keep you busy, it'll be fun and you finally get to do the project you haven't had time to do.

4.) Clean out the attic, garage or basement.

This will definitely be a time consumer, but that's good. You can finally clear out all the clutter that has taken over. Take time to get things organized and decide what to keep, donate and throw out. After all, cleaning has been proven to relieve stress. 

5.) Volunteer. 

Whether it be at the local soup kitchen, the VA hospital or Big Brothers, Big Sisters, volunteering will give you something to do on a regular basis. Not only will you be able to have fun, but you will also be able to help those who really need it. You may even stick to it after the deployment is over.  

6.) Read at least one book a month.

Maybe there's a series you've been wanting to start or even reread, well now's your chance :)

7.) Get more involved on base. 

Become more active in your FRG and more involved in the activities that take place on base. You'll be surprised how much fun you'll have and the friends you'll make. 

8.) Send at least one package a month. 

You'll have fun decorating each package. Your spouse will be so happy to receive the cute packages you've made him or her and will be especially appreciative of any food you may send.

9.) Learn to cook new foods. 

Find some recipes that you've never cooked before and try them out. You may find a lot of things you love, that you just haven't tried yet. Plus you can cook them for your spouse when he or she returns home. 

10.) Pay off debts.

While your spouse is deployed , there will be a slight increase in pay and it will be untaxed. This allows for a great opportunity to pay off some (or all) debts that have been accumulated. 

11.) Further your education.

Take some classes at the local community college. It'll help you work towards your degree and will also give you things to do to take up your time. 

12.) Save up money.

Now is a great time to save up money for a trip, a new car or maybe even a house. 

13.) Take yoga classes. 

You may end up loving it! Plus it'll help you get (or stay) in shape. 

I hope that you've enjoyed this list of ideas and that you are able to add them to your own bucket list. 

6 Things To Help You Survive Your Spouse's Deployment

1.) Keep yourself busy.

The more you do, the quicker the time apart will pass. So hang out with your friends, start a new hobby or maybe go to the gym. It'll help you stay busy. Plus, you can surprise your husband with the changes a routine work out can make!

2.) COMMUNICATION IS KEY.

I repeat COMMUNICATION IS KEY. This is a very cliche thing to be told, but it's true. While your spouse is deployed, be sure you remain honest with each other. Keep them up to date with the things that you have going on in your life, even if you had a terrible day. It helps them feel like they're still part of the life back home. A Sergeant First Class once told my husbands unit "A soldier doesn't age on deployment. They do the same thing everyday for 9 months. Nothing changes. But the world doesn't stop back home. Life goes on and is always changing." So be sure to keep that in mind. If you don't tell your spouse things that happen while they're away, they'll learn within the first month of returning home, which can make it very overwhelming. So tell him or her that you miss them and share with them about your day, week, or month.

3.) Send each other pictures. 

This simple gesture helps so much. You get to see each other throughout the months apart. One picture can make the distance seem a little less far and can bring a smile to your face, on the worst days.

4.) Don't hold in frustration or sadness. 

You've probably been told "don't bother him when your angry or sad. It'll distract him from what he's doing there." This isn't true. You need to tell him when your sad, when you feel like you just can't take it anymore. And when you're angry or frustrated. If you bottle it all up because you want to "protect him," you'll end up exploding. You could take it all out on him, causing more problems than it's worth. Or maybe even your friends and family. So talk to your significant other about what's bothering you. It'll help. I promise.

5.) Remember he misses you just as much as you miss him. 

This is a very important thing to remember. Sometimes the distance can take it's toll on you. It'll feel like you can't do it anymore. And sometimes, you feel like you're alone, that no one understands. That's not true. It's easy to forget that while you're apart, he misses you just as much as you miss him and that the deployment is just as hard on him, if not harder.

6.) Keep your chin up, it'll all be over soon. 

You may be reading this on the first day of deployment and thinking to yourself "I still have 9 months to go. That's not soon." But if you take a moment and think about it, it really isn't that long. You want to spend the rest of your life with him right? Well 9 months seems so small, compared to 50 years. So keep your head high. Remember you're strong and you WILL make it through this.

I hope these tips help you through this deployment, or any that you may face in the future. Just stay positive. Don't worry yourself with the "what if's" or you'll drive yourself nuts.

10 Things Only A Military Wife Would Understand

1.) Keep your family and friends close, no matter how many miles are between you. 

Being a military wife, you will face many obstacles that could be difficult to handle on your own. Obstacles such as deployment, can leave you feeling alone. This is where your friends and family come in. They will be there for those late night calls, when you can't stand sleeping alone anymore and the world feels like it's crashing down on you. Your friends will help the time pass more quickly, by keeping you busy with girls' nights and lots of laughs!

2.) Sleeping with the ringer on high and your phone laying next to you. 

You've taught yourself that your phone's ringer must ALWAYS be on high while your husband is deployed. If you turn your phone on vibrate for a second, that will be the second he calls and you don't hear it. A missed call can crush the mood of your entire day. Especially when those calls are few.

3.) Always write addresses in pencil.

You'll make friends at each base you go to. You'll want to keep in touch with those closest to you. But you know that they will move multiple times, just as you will.

4.) There are no goodbyes, only see you laters. 

The Army may move you and your family away from those that you've grown close to but that doesn't mean that you'll never see them again. Often times families can be restationed together later on down the road. You've learned that even if you aren't stationed together, you and your friends will stay in touch and many times you'll arrange to see each other. You can meet in the middle or take turns going to each other's house.

5.) It's okay to cry.

You've been told your entire life that crying is a sign of weakness. That IS NOT true. Sometimes the stress of military life, or life in general, can be too much. Crying is a release. You've learned that it makes you feel better. Holding it in only leaves you hurting more.

6.) Homecomings are the happiest days of your life.

You've both survived the deployment. You've experienced the tears, pain and loneliness that accompanies the time apart. Your husband has finally made it home, safe and sound. The first kiss at homecoming is magical, just like the first kiss you two ever shared. Now you finally get to walk away, holding the hand of your husband. No more nights alone. No more skype calls. You get to  be together again.

7.) You've learned to pack your entire house on short notice. 

Your husband has just now gotten his orders and it's time to PCS. You've learned through your many moves how to pack quickly, where to get free boxes and just what all you can take with you and what you need to sell.

8.) Having to explain the many acronyms of the military to your non-military affiliated friends and family.

While talking to your friends and family about your life, you have to explain what PCS, MOS and NTC. You bring them up, forgetting that your friends don't know what they mean. You've gotten so used to talking to the other spouses around base and your husband, that you forget not everyone knows what the acronyms means. 

9.) The pain of going through the gate to get on base. 

You know the pain of the long lines of cars that are waiting to make it through  the main gate. The line that gets held up by those without military IDs trying to get on base and being turned around to get a visitors pass. Or new people to post asking for directions to the PX or Commissary.

10.) You never ever shop at the Commissary on payday. 

The amount of people who shop at the commissary on payday is outrageous. The lines are ridiculous and trying to maneuver down the aisles is almost impossible.