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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Time To Prepare for D Day: Deployment Day

Deployment is just around the corner and there is so much to do to prepare for it. Whether it's your first or thirtieth deployment, it can all be overwhelming. It's very easy to forget some of the most important things. So I've compiled a list of what I feel are the most important things to do before your spouse deploys.

1.) Prepare important documents.

Be sure that you get your spouses Power Of Attorney (POA) and will updated. I know it may be difficult to think about something happening to your spouse, but it's very important that these are up to date. If something were to happen to you while your spouse was away, who would take care of your children and pets? Who else would you like to be able to pick up your children from school or take them to the doctor, in the event that you are unable to? POAs can be for specific things or a general POA. Be sure you have a POA that allows you to do things for your husband and that someone you TRUST has a POA to do things for you.

2.) Get a passport. 

It's super important that you have a valid passport. In the event that something happens to your spouse, chances are they will first be flown to an overseas hospital. So having a passport will allow you to join them.

3.) Discuss finances.

Deployment brings in extra, untaxed money. So it's important to discuss what will be done with the extra money. Will you use it to pay off debts? Or will it be saved up for a trip when your spouse gets back? Or maybe you'll use the extra money to  buy a new car? Be sure to discuss this with your spouse and come to an agreement, before he or she ever leaves.

4.) Get Red Cross information.

I, personally, feel this is the most important thing to do. You need to get your spouses Red Cross information. This is the information that is given to families of those deploying, that allows contact in case of an emergency. Most of the time, the military will NOT allow a your spouse to return home under any circumstance, without being contacted by Red Cross. Keep this someplace where you ALWAYS know where it is. I like to keep a copy on the fridge, in my purse, and on my phone. That way it's always around.

5.) Stay in the know.

Figure out who your spouses chain of command is and become familiar with the FRG. These are your two best sources of information. The FRG will keep you updated on what's going on throughout deployment and they will also give you the homecoming date, time and location.

6.) Build your support system. 

Deployment will have it's ups and downs. It's always hard to be away from your spouse, especially for an extended period of time. So it's important to build your support system. The FRG will give you a support system of others who are going through the same thing as you. Keep your family and friends close. Who else can make you smile and laugh when you feel like crying, better than those who have known you the longest?

7.) Keep everyone updated. 

Your spouses friends and family will want to know what;s going on during the deployment. They may ask what your spouse needs or what they can contribute to a care package. Be sure to keep them updated. But remember OPSEC! You don't want to endanger your spouse or those he or she is with by giving out exact locations and troop movements.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

7 Habits You Need To Break Before Getting Married

So many people are getting married young these days. I, myself, was one of them. Throughout the journey I've learned some very important things from mistakes I've made and those around me as well. Often times, people are too immature to get married and have many many habits that need to be broken. So here's a list of what I feel are the most important habits to break before tying the knot.

1.) Facebook Posting

This could start out innocent enough. Posting pictures of you and your spouse being happy together. But this can change with arguments. Many people tend to turn to social media while fighting with a spouse and they blow it out of proportion. This can cause later issues after the initial argument has been resolved.

Also, don't be the couple who feels the desire to constantly update every detail of your life. Don't feel as though it has to be posted on Facebook for your relationship to be legitimate.

2.) Laziness

Doing your part and stepping up and doing something is a very important part to any relationship. You can't show her how much you appreciate her, by making her do everything herself.

3.) Depending on Mommy and Daddy

Once you get married, you need to realize that your parents no longer have to take care of you. You can't expect your parents to always give you everything. Learn to take care of yourself. If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to not depend on your parents.

4.) Self- Importance

Once you finally realize that you're not the only person on earth, it'll help you comprise on things. Marriage is about putting someone's needs before your own.

5.) Get Over Your Ex

How do you expect to devote yourself completely to one person if you are unable to let go of your ex? Quit worrying about every little thing he or she is doing. Pay attention to your fiance'.

6.) Snooping.

STOP. Seriously. Marriage should be built on trust. If you have to snoop through his phone or emails, you obviously don't trust him and you probably shouldn't be getting married. Jealousy just causes more problems. So whatever has happened to you in past relationships, let it go.

7.) Lying

People lie becuase they want to hide something or "stay out of trouble." But the reality of the matter is, lying causes so many more problems and fixes absolutely nothing. Honesty is very important in a marriage, so why would you want to build it on nothing but lies? Eventually the truth does come out.