How to Survive Any Duty Station

PCS season is among us! I'm sure we've all been there. New orders come in and you learn you're going to a duty station with a horrible reputation. Now what? There isn't anything you can do to change it. So I guess you just have to deal. Right? Wrong. There are ways to make any location bearable.

• Explore the surrounding areas

The town that the post is located may be terrible, but what about the towns 30 minutes, an hour or even 2 hours away. Visit museums, state parks, national parks, local shops. You never know what you might stumble upon. We've found some hidden beaches and an alligator habitat, simply by exploring.

• Make friends.

At times, this may seem impossible. But you can do it. Go to spouse get togethers, join a book club, join Meetup (they have all sorts of groups with different focuses. i.e. photography, crocheting, etc), or host some get togethers at your house like game nights or a bonfire. Living anywhere gets a little easier when you have friends to do things with.

• Have run away days.

Everyone gets cabin fever when they're stuck at home for extended periods of time. So plan run away days. Get in the car, pick a direction and drive. You never know what you'll find. You'll be getting out of town and you'll get to see new things.

• Try local restaurants and stores.

Try restaurants that aren't found anywhere else. Shop local shops. You never know what hidden gems you may find.

• Make the best of the time you have there.

You're only in this location for a short period of time and you'll probably never come back. So make the best of it. You may regret never going to that state park one day.

15 Reasons Why Being a Military Spouse is Awesome

                                       



This morning I was sitting at home after my husband left for pt. I always hate when he has to leave, even if it's just for the duty day. I got to thinking about the different aspects of the military lifestyle. We all have reason why we may not like our spouse being in the military, but no one can argue that there are definitely some great things that come from it.

• The Benefits: Who can really complain about free healthcare? And of course, the housing allowance helps to keep a roof over your head, despite the not-so-good pay. 

• Free Gym "Membership": People are always paying tons of money to get a gym membership. But as a military spouse, you get to go to the gym on post for free! 

• The Commissary: It's great. Do I really need to explain this one?

• Military Balls: I don't know about you, but I love the excuse to be able to dress up nice and go dancing with my husband. 

• The PX: You can get name brand items such as Bath and Body Works, Marc Jacobs, Coach, and Michael Kors all in one place for pretty reasonable prices. 

• Military Discounts: Can you really argue with this one?

• You get to have friends all over the world

• Travel: This is probably my favorite aspect of the military lifestyle. You get the opportunity to live in places you normally wouldn't. You get to experience so many new places. 

• You learn to be very independent: When your spouse is gone for extended periods of time, what other choice do you have?

• You get the opportunity to be super creative: You have all those care packages to decorate and letters to write. 

• Road Trips! Every few years you get the opportunity to take a long road trip that you don't have to pay for! Cheers for PCS season. 

• That uniform! I love to see my husband in his uniform. I think he looks so sexy!

• The Pride: I feel so proud when I get to see my husband in his uniform. It's one of the best feelings in the world, knowing that he is willing to make sacrifices to keep our country safe. 

• You learn to be Flexible thanks to the military's last minute planning and constant changes.

• Tuition Assistance: This is definitely an awesome benefit of being a military spouse. Not only for me, but also my husband.

What are your favorite things about being a military spouse?

Advice For New Military Spouses

I've been asked by many people what advice I'd give to a new military spouse. So I decided I'd make a new post just to answer that question!

Make the best of every duty station

Being married to someone in the military brings a lot of opportunities to travel. As an army wife, I've had to live in some less than desirable places. I've always made the best of it. Travel around the area and see the local sites: visit museums, state parks, and local restaurants. Remember that chances are you'll never return there.

Don't compare your duty station to the last one

A great assignment is a blessing but can also cause problems later on if you allow it to. If you leave an amazing duty station for a not so amazing one, don't allow it to ruin your experiences in your new town.

Don't get your hopes up for your next duty station

No one duty station is ever guaranteed. If you set your hopes too high and you don't get the station you wanted, you'll be very let down which can lead to you being miserable.

 Remember your spouse is in the military- not a civilian.

So many times wives get upset that their husbands work late. Your spouse is in the military. They'll work crazy hours, they'll go into the field for weeks at a time, and they'll deploy- often times missing holidays, births of their children and important family events.

Often times when you get comfortable in your new home, it's time to move again. It can be hard to get used to, but it's part of the lifestyle.

Don't believe in the "Dependa" and other stereotypes

Believing in such stereotypes will keep you from befriending those who you don't see as an equal. If you like sporting your favorite "Army Wife" hoodie, then do so. Don't care what other people say or think.


These are just a few bits of advice that I would give a new military spouse. I hope this helped!

10 More Carepackage Ideas

When you're loved one is deployed, you want to be sure they have as much of home as possible. My previous post CarePackage Ideas gave tons of unique ideas of what to put into carepackages to send your loved ones. In case  you have used all the previous, here are some more ideas!!

1.) Night At The Pizzeria 

This is a great package to remind them of home. Include pizza themed items such as parmasean packets (like you get with pizza at restaurants),pizza flavored combos, pizza pringles, and non regrigerated microwave pastas/sandwiches. You can decorate the box with pizza stickers!

2.) Movie Night

This is one of my favorite carepackages to send. It allows your loved one to escape for just a little bit. Include: Movies on a flashdrive/harddrive or DVDs, popcorn (prepopped or microvable), popcorn seasonings, and small boxes or packages of candy. You could decorate the box with different movie and film themed stickers or print out movie posters and glue them on the package.

3.) Star Wars 

Is your spouse a Star Wars fan? This is the perfect package for them! Include the star wars movies, glow sticks, collapsible light sabers, cookies (come to the dark side, we have cookies!), and any other Star Wars trinkets you wish to include.

4.) Taste of Home

Include homemade cookies, fudge, breads, cake in a jar and any other homemade goodies that will survive the trip over. Be sure to wrap every item very well!

5.) Warm Night

Include a blanket, hand warmers,microwave soup, thick socks, a new PT cap (to sleep in), and hot cocoa mix.

6.) Under the Sea

This is a fun package to send. Include goldfish snacks, sweedish fish, go fish card game, fishing game, candy octopus, Little Mermaid  movie, JAWS movie, and small toy fish, jellyfish, octopus, etc.

7.) Game Night 

Include cards, board games, and electronic (handheld) games. Also include any other games or snacks that you choose.

8.) A Good Night's Sleep

Include pillows, blanket, ear plugs, sleep masks (the things that cover your eyes while sleeping) and another other sleep related items.

9.) Fright Night

This is a fun package for horror lovers. Include lots and lots of scary movies and popcorn. You can also include red silly putty (for blood) and decorate the package with movie posters for their favorite scary movies.

10.) Date Night

This will be good for those rough nights apart. Include romance movies (or romantic comedies), popcorn, a picture of you all dressed, one of your shirts with you perfume on it, Another cute idea is to send a video of yourself talking to your spouse. It'll be something he or she can watch over and over whenever he or she misses you most .

How To Survive Valentine's Day During Deployment

Valentine's Day is approaching. Many of us love to celebrate it, while many loath the holiday. For those who have a husband deployed, you may choose to ignore it this year or even get very sad not being able to spend the day together. How is a girl supposed to deal with such a thing? Well, I've got a few ideas that may help you.

Make it a girl's night out (or in).

If you want to go out, rather than stay in by yourself, have a girl's night. You don't have to go to restaurants where there will be lovey dovey couples. You can go to low key places or even go bowling or play laser tag. It's better than sitting by yourself missing your husband.


Stay home and pretend the holiday doesn't exist. 

Some of us deal with being apart from our spouse by just staying home, and avoiding Valentine's Day all together. If this is you, I completely understand. Try watching a funny movie, or a TV series. Order take-out or cook dinner. When you wake up the next day, Valentine's Day will be over!

Have a Skype Date! 

If you're able to Skype with your husband on Valentine's Day, great! Try not to focus on the fact that you're apart. You could buy lingerie that you plan to wear when he's home and tell him about it or show him. Just be careful showing him, you don't want someone else to see.

Have a get together at your house.

Invite over people who are in the same situation as you. Have an Anti-Valentine's Day party. Just have fun. It will keep you from dwelling on the fact your husband is gone, and you won't spend the day alone.

10 Things For Military Spouses to Always Remember

My time being associated with the military has taught me a lot. I've seen all sorts of military wives and experienced all sorts of things. Throughout this I've learned some very important things. So I've decided to share them with you. These are things that I feel are very important for any military spouse to remember.

1.) You're more than just a milso. 
It's ok to identify as more than just a military spouse or so-and-so's wife. You have your own identity.  You need your own interests that will keep you busy during those long field trainings and deployments. Don't solely think of yourself as a milso. You'll lose who you are in the process.

2.) You're NEVER alone.
Sometimes it may feel as though you are, but you're not alone. There is always someone who's going through something similar to what you are, you just have to find them. There are facebook pages and your FRG, that are always giving support. I know my followers on my Tumblr are always willing to listen and help.

3.) There are so many resources within your reach. Use them.
There are so many scholarships and grants available for the spouses of servicemen and women, you have access to help finding a job, and so so much more.

4.) Hurry Up and Wait. The motto of the miltary.
The military is known for never doing anything on time, and always changing plans. Just be patient. There's nothing you can do about it.

5.) Be Flexible 
Things are constantly changing in the military. You may be forced to pack up and move on a whim, your spouse may work late, and new training schedules may pop up unannounced. You've just got to learn to be flexible and deal with it.

6.) DEPLOYMENTS END! They may not seem like it, but they do.

7.) Friends and family may not understand what you're going through, but that's ok. 
This can be hard, especially on those who are new to the military lifestyle. You may get told "well you signed up for it". I know I have been multiple times. These comments usually aren't meant to be hurtful.

8.) Embrace every duty station. 
Although your duty station may be less than pleasurable, make the best of it. You may never get the opportunity to visit again. Try local restaurants and visit local museums, hiking trails, etc.

9.) This too shall pass. 
When you hit that bump in the road that you don't think you'll overcome, like in the middle of a deployment, just remember it'll end. Eventually.

10.) A general POA won't cover everything. 
There are tons of different power of attorneys out there. Ones for your cars, banks, and housing. Be sure you have the correct ones. It's better to be over prepared, than under prepared.

6 Things Never to Talk About On Military Spouse Pages

Social Media is a big part of today's world. This allows there to be many different "support" groups for military spouses. These groups allow wives in the same area, or sometimes far apart, get to know those that are facing similar issues and understand the difficulty the military can bring within a family. While these groups can be quite helpful, they can also be drama filled. So I've learned what topics you probably shouldn't discuss in these forums.

Pay Day

Don't ask what day your spouses paycheck will come through, even if there is a holiday. Most often this is seen as a "dependa" thing to do, why else would you be asking? Those reading your question and responding rudely don't care that you have bills that are due or that you need to go to the grocery store to feed your family. You know all the things that a responsible spouse would do?

Rank

I agree with this one. No one cares what the rank of your spouse is, so what's the point in bringing it up?

Admit that you're human and make mistakes.

The way people act in these groups, you will be thrown under the bus and told you're a terrible wife and mother. After all, we're never meant to make mistakes, right?

Your Opinion

Never state your opinion in these groups, regardless of the topic. There will always be someone who disagrees with you, and will try to start all kinds of drama.

Marital Issues

Be sure never to say that you are having issues with your marriage. You're with a military man and he's "protecting your country. Why can't you be happy with him?" Or perhaps "you'll cause problems that he can take on the front line."

Anything Name Brand

It doesn't matter if it's name brand shoes or a purse, never talk about it. You'll be accused of being a "dependa" despite the fact you saved up all year to buy it.

25 Things Military Spouses Learn While Their Significant Other is Deployed

Every military spouse who has experienced deployment has learned a vast number of things. Here are what some spouses say were the biggest things they learned.

1. "I learned how to be patient. Obviously with deployment you have to wait for your husband to come home."
2. "While my husband was deployed, I learned not to take the little things for granted, like a five minute phone call. You never know when you'll be able to talk again."
3. "I learned that things that may seem minor while they're home, become big things during deployment. I can't remember how many times I got a short email or Facebook message that simply said I'm ok. I love you."
4. "You never realize how strong you are until you have no choice but to be."
5. "You learn that it's okay to cry. It doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're human."
6. "Murphy's Law will definitely take effect. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. But it's ok. You'll make it through it."
7. "I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be."
8. "I found my independent side that I forgot I had." 
9. "I found that to keep myself sane, I have to rely on God. He will bring you through it." 
10. "How to not only do the jobs a mother would do, but also the jobs a daddy would. I learned how to do yard work and do car repairs." 
11. "That the distance and stress of deployment can make or break you. You have to allow it to strengthen your relationship. Focus on the good, not the bad. Remember, they miss you as much as you miss them."
12. "I learned that in order for me to make it through the deployment, I needed to have a close knit group of friends and family. They helped me through so much."
13.  "The time may seem to be going by slowly, but before you know it you'll look back and think Man, it's been that long already?"
14. "I learned how much my family relies on my husband to do things. I've realized how blessed I am to have him in my life. I've learned how to appreciate the little things he does for us."
15. " I learned to be patient. Not only with waiting for my husband to come back, but with my friends and family. They try to understand, but they don't because they've never been through it." 
16. "The second he leaves, all hell breaks loose. But that's ok. I know I can handle it."
17. "It's ok to cry! It doesn't mean you're not strong. It means you care." 
18. "I've learned to draw near to God and focus on my relationship with Him. He will help you through it." 
19. "Take advantage of the time apart. Go back to school, start a new work out, run a marathon. Just set goals for yourself. It'll help the time pass more quickly."
20. "Homecoming is the most amazing day you'll ever experience."
21. "The first time I saw him after deployment, all the problems I had experienced went away."
22. "The day I saw his formation walk out onto the field after 10 months apart, I realized how lucky I am to have such an amazing man."
23. "The first kiss is the greatest feeling in the world."
24. "The hours leading up to homecoming are the most anxiety filled I experienced. But I couldn't have been happier."
25. "The first kiss and hug after 9 months apart made all the distance and lonely nights worth it. He was finally home to me."

What are some things you learned while your loved one was deployed?

Time To Prepare for D Day: Deployment Day

Deployment is just around the corner and there is so much to do to prepare for it. Whether it's your first or thirtieth deployment, it can all be overwhelming. It's very easy to forget some of the most important things. So I've compiled a list of what I feel are the most important things to do before your spouse deploys.

1.) Prepare important documents.

Be sure that you get your spouses Power Of Attorney (POA) and will updated. I know it may be difficult to think about something happening to your spouse, but it's very important that these are up to date. If something were to happen to you while your spouse was away, who would take care of your children and pets? Who else would you like to be able to pick up your children from school or take them to the doctor, in the event that you are unable to? POAs can be for specific things or a general POA. Be sure you have a POA that allows you to do things for your husband and that someone you TRUST has a POA to do things for you.

2.) Get a passport. 

It's super important that you have a valid passport. In the event that something happens to your spouse, chances are they will first be flown to an overseas hospital. So having a passport will allow you to join them.

3.) Discuss finances.

Deployment brings in extra, untaxed money. So it's important to discuss what will be done with the extra money. Will you use it to pay off debts? Or will it be saved up for a trip when your spouse gets back? Or maybe you'll use the extra money to  buy a new car? Be sure to discuss this with your spouse and come to an agreement, before he or she ever leaves.

4.) Get Red Cross information.

I, personally, feel this is the most important thing to do. You need to get your spouses Red Cross information. This is the information that is given to families of those deploying, that allows contact in case of an emergency. Most of the time, the military will NOT allow a your spouse to return home under any circumstance, without being contacted by Red Cross. Keep this someplace where you ALWAYS know where it is. I like to keep a copy on the fridge, in my purse, and on my phone. That way it's always around.

5.) Stay in the know.

Figure out who your spouses chain of command is and become familiar with the FRG. These are your two best sources of information. The FRG will keep you updated on what's going on throughout deployment and they will also give you the homecoming date, time and location.

6.) Build your support system. 

Deployment will have it's ups and downs. It's always hard to be away from your spouse, especially for an extended period of time. So it's important to build your support system. The FRG will give you a support system of others who are going through the same thing as you. Keep your family and friends close. Who else can make you smile and laugh when you feel like crying, better than those who have known you the longest?

7.) Keep everyone updated. 

Your spouses friends and family will want to know what;s going on during the deployment. They may ask what your spouse needs or what they can contribute to a care package. Be sure to keep them updated. But remember OPSEC! You don't want to endanger your spouse or those he or she is with by giving out exact locations and troop movements.

12 Things Not To Say To A Military Spouse

We've all been there. You're spouse is deployed and those around you just don't understand what this time entails. We've all had the stupidest things said to us. So I've compiled a list of 12 things that should NEVER be said to any military spouse.

12.) Now you can do whatever you want.

First of all, my husband doesn't keep me from doing anything I want to do. If there's something that he doesn't like me doing, there's probably a reason and I shouldn't do it when he's not here either.

11.) Quit whining, it's only 9 months. 

This absolutely grinds my gears. It's only nine months? When you go nine months without your husband, with limited communication and the fear he may not make it home, then we can talk.

10.) He'll be back before you know it. 

This has been said to me on the day my husband has left. Yeah... Nine months is before I know it... not. Even if you keep busy, it's still a long time to be apart.

9.) Where exactly is he?

I can't tell you that. It's called OPSEC. I'd rather my husband and those he's with, make it home safe and sound. Not hinder that in order to feed your curiosity.

8.) I totally understand how you feel. I hate when my husband leaves for the weekend. 

No. Just no. A weekend? That's 2-3 days apart that your husband will be staying in a safe hotel or house. My husband leaves for 9 months at a time, staying in a war zone. That's roughly 270 days apart. That's not even remotely close to the same thing. So you don't understand, so please don't say you do.

7.) At least he's making a ton of money!

First of all, yes he's making more money but it's not a ton of money. No amount of money could replace how I'd feel to have my husband at home, safe and sound.

6.) At least you can Skype! You'll be fine. 

I don't think people understand that the internet our troops have while deployed absolutely sucks. So most of the time you stare at a pixelated picture of your spouse. And Skype doesn't come close to actual physical contact.

5.) Aren't you afraid he'll cheat? 

No! Absolutely not! My marriage is built on trust. If you don't trust your spouse to be away from you, maybe you shouldn't be together.

4.) Is it hard to be faithful? I couldn't go without sex for that long.

If that's all you're thinking about, maybe your marriage relies on the wrong things. It's not difficult whatsoever. I love my husband way too much to do that to him.

3.) Don't you miss him? 

YES! Of course I do. What kind of question is that?

2.) Aren't you afraid he'll die?

This is probably the dumbest question I've ever been asked. That is the biggest fear of any military spouse. We don't need to reminded of it.

1.) I don't see how you do it. I never could.

And that's why you never will. It takes a strong person to do what I do. To stay faithful and unconditionally love someone who has to leave for months on end. But you will also never understand how rewarding it is and how strong my marriage is because of it.